Blog About The Log

No, not that kind of log.
Not one like my diary the wind speed, lat & long, wind direction, wave height, blah-di-blah...
But one about the sailing rag, The Log.
You know, the one where I won the jacket?
For Stan kissing a puffer fish?
The Log!
Let's start at the back, where any well adjusted reader would.
Ads.
Sailboat ads.
Mooring ads.
Just in case I want to move to Newport or the hit me with your best East wind shot, Avalon.And quite affordable at $875,000.
$875,000 for a mooring?
For an engine block with a floaty and a slimy line in a crowded harbor?
Huh?
Am I missing something here?
Such as the boat that comes with the mooring?

Ok, skip that.
Flip back a few more pages (remember we start at the back) to the ever entertaining Harbor Blotter!
Yep, what the Harborales do for kicks fun work.
Sometimes it's as innocent as helping a boater find a dinghy that floated away.
Assisting a newbie with an overturned kayak.
Or kids with a rental paddleboat who just lost their rudder.
And sometimes it's JUSTICE.
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.
KARMA.Gee, you haul your boat in our yard and neglect to pay your bill for several months?
Sob lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, full of lies story.
Lie some more.
Then have some drug addict skank thieves piece of shit friends over.
With weapons.
Yes, weapons!
Hee hee hee...
Enjoy jail you washed up piece of shit, crap, lying SOB (sorry to bring your mom into this as your dad actually seemed pretty nice, but oh by the way he it totally sick of your shit too) thief, liar, liar, liar, did I mention I hate liars? worthless piece of poor excuse for a human being ex-client.
So maybe he can trade some jail favors and send us the $6k he owes us...?
Karma Mr. AngelinaJolie'sBoyfriend'sName FemaleSheepPresentTenseSuffix!

Flip back several more pages.
What is this?
Stowaway raccoons?Yep, happens all the time.
Often with bears.
Buffalo.
Cows & horses too.
And sometimes with skunks, alpacas, turtle doves, cougars, mealy worms, penguins, ladybugs (the worst!), orcas, hummingbirds (listen for the hum ~ dead giveaway), worms (yeah, well sometimes you can't prevent this one), toucans, antelope, elephants, tsetse flies, rattlesnakes and labrador puppies.
Oh those stowaways!
Seriously ~ stop your boat and don't come to the island?
How about stop your boat and jump overboard!
And there is a charge for the removal service?
How about you pay me to not bring the raccoons skunks, alpacas, turtle doves, cougars, mealy worms, penguins, ladybugs, orcas, hummingbirds, worms, toucans, antelope, elephants, tsetse flies, rattlesnakes and labrador puppies to the island?

And if there is a great flood is it then okay?

Ponderings From The Week or Stuff I Thought About

I remembered what a good sport Big Bad Bob can be.And that flash cameras work better than phones do when taking pictures at night.

I was reminded of how awesome Stan is, when he gave this bike to me!Yes, GAVE!
I am in the course of remembering how much I love to ride bicycles.
A couple more rides and I will remember for sure.

Always tie your anchor to a cleat or the bollard after you raise it.
This I knew, but our friend Randy forgot.
He is now not on his way to Portland as he should be, but in the boatyard with over $6000 in repairs.

Don't swim with sharks.
And don't get a job with Vessel Assist in case you get a call to dive on a gillnetter's prop to remove their net or whatever and find this next to it...It's ok to steal pictures from people if needed.
(I stole this picture from other Randy...)

Uh, what else?
I hate pigeons.

Did I mention I like to ride bicycles?
That I don't care for sharks unless they are on my plate?
Grilled preferably.
That you should always tie your anchor off?
That Bob is a mermaid good sport?

Jellybanks with Big Bad Bob & Stan The Man

Big Bad Bob Burney was out from Texas for two weeks of working.
Two weeks of work?
So we kidnapped him for the weekend.
I snuck out of The Dirt Pit at 3:00.
Engines on.
All docklines off except a couple.
Fenders up for the most part.
Boat is ready.
Jim is ready.
Stan is ready.
I am ready.
Where the hell is Bob?

Off we go around 3:30 or 4:00 or some windy time.
Put a double reef in the main outside the harbor as there was already wind.
We started heading for Prisoners and slopped and banged along.
Had the headsail out and was doing ok, but just ok, due to a filthy boat bottom.
Called "Shinola" "Shining Star" to see how they were slopping along and a quick decision was made to fall off and head for Yellowbanks.
Smart!

Heard a "clink, clink, clink" coming from inside and found an open bottle of red wine, cork out, rolling across the counter.
Red wine all over the counter.
Under the microwave, under the toaster, all over the flashlight collection, down the wall, on the steps, on the carpet, on the Mexican rug.
Oh yay!
Burgandy walls!
So half-assed cleaned it up, as we were really slamming and bouncing around.
Barely missed the can at Platform Gilda. Grace?
One of those G names.

Aaaahhhhhhh!
The lee of the island!
Warm, calm, flat.
In and anchored at Hungryman's Gulch.
Time for a beer (considering my wine was dried on the wall by this time).
Lucky for me, there is a wine stash.
Made an awesome dinner of Jim's homemade spaghetti and had a beautiful smooth night.
Complete with a satellite locating contest.
I was given 4 points for washing dishes, so tied with Jim & Stan.
Bob sucked at 0.

Ok, next day.
Windy out in the channel again, so let's just move over to Yellowbanks and enjoy the sun and lack of honking winds.
Did that exactly.
Here is Stan and Bob enjoying.Cherryl & I kayaked.


We had mojitos.
Mr. Bill included.



We watched a dead, stinky, bloated up sea lion drift right onto us and avoided the slick of slimy dead, stinky, bloated up sea lion along our hull and anchor chain by Jim's quick manuvering of the boat.
Yay for two engines.
Yay for watching.
Yay for Jim's driving capabilities.This boat, who we shall re-name "Duh" wasn't so lucky.
Or smart.
Or something.The dead, stinky, bloated up sea lion pretty much slid on alongside their anchor chain.
Eeeewwww.
But then caught a current and headed on out to sea.

Uh, what else?
Stan caught a mini-fish and fed it to Cherryl's cat, Scuppers.Who then threw it up all over Cherryl's brand new comforter.

Dinner on "Shining Star" with "Delinquent Sea" joining us.
Jokes, fun, conversation, do you know so & so, blah, blah, blah.
Back to "Meerkat" for sleep.

Next day.
The guys went fishing.
I made a huge breakfast.
Read.
Took a nap.
Enjoyed the incredible water color of Yellowbanks.Didn't want to go home.
But did.
Eventually.

Had a nice sail with headsail alone for awhile.
Missed the can at the oilrig at a much greater distance.
No fish.
And I parked the boat again.